Probably most people, when they think about petting a cat, will think of the “full body pet”. This is where your hand starts on the head or neck and slides all the way down the cat’s body to (or even onto) the tail, using the fingers and upper part of the palm.
While a lot of cats do indeed enjoy a full body pet, it’s important to understand that not all cats do, and even those who do enjoy it might not want it all the time.
If the cat is standing or in the “loaf position“, she will often raise up her hind quarters as you pet her there. This is a positive sign, it means that the cat likes being petted there and you should continue doing it.
Purring
Cats purr for various reasons but by far the most common reason is because they’re happy and content. If you’re petting a cat and it starts to purr, that’s gold, keep doing what you’re doing.
The tale of the tail
Cats express their moods and desires with their tails. As you are petting a cat, always keep an eye on her tail, at least until you know the cat and her wants very well. Interpreting a cat’s tail movements is not an exact science. Different cats will express themselves differently, and even the same movement from one cat might mean different things at different times. What I say here are general guidelines that are often or usually true. But you need to get to know your cat(s) and how she expresses herself.
If the tail is moving slowly and lazily, or if the tip of the tail is lazily twitching, that is generally a good sign, indicating that the cat is relaxed and probably enjoying the petting. If her eyes slowly close or partially close, that’s also usually a sign that she’s relaxed.
If the tail movement starts to speed up, especially if it goes from a tip twitching to the whole tail swishing, it usually means that the cat is starting to get a little agitated, starting to not enjoy the petting quite so much.
The thing to do when you notice the tail speeding up is to stop petting the cat. Watch her. If her eyes had been closed or mostly closed, and she now opens them and looks at you, it might mean that you’ve misinterpreted her tail movements and she’s asking you why you stopped doing something she was enjoying. On the other hand, if you stop and her tail slows or stops, that’s a pretty good indication that she was done being petted and is happier now that you stopped.
If you ignore the early sign of the tail speeding up and continue to pet the cat, it’s likely that both the rate and size of the movement will increase. She will raise her tail high up and whack it down, faster and faster. If you still ignore these warning signs, the cat might just get up and walk away. Or it might start nipping or biting at your hand.
Here, too, however, there are multiple possible reasons that the cat is biting at you, and you need to be able to tell them apart. If it’s just a bite with no involvement of the paws, it is almost certainly a warning to “stop that!” The cat has had enough petting, she doesn’t feel like getting up, she just wants you to stop. So stop.
On the other hand, if the biting is accompanied by rolling and “batting” with the paws, it’s likely that she has gone from a relaxed mood to a playful mood and is using your hand as a cat toy. The best response here — and a good way to find out what the cat’s mood really is — is to get a real cat toy, a wand or string type toy, wave it around and see if the cat plays with it.
It is not a good idea to continue playing with the cat using your hand. You really don’t want to teach her that hands are cat toys.
Other ways to pet a cat
There are many ways to pet a cat other than the full body pet.
Almost all cats like to be gently scratched on the top of their head. Use your fingernails with a gently pressure. You can use the first two fingers and thumb in a pinching motion. Or, using one or two fingers (fingernails), start just above where the cat’s eyebrows would be and slowly move along the crest of the head to behind the ears. And “behind the ears” can mean either continuing along the middle of the head until you pass an imaginary line joining the two ears, or it can mean actually moving over and going behind one ear. Followed, of course, by equal time given to behind the other ear.
Most cats also like being scratched or massaged along the jaw line or along the cheeks.
Most cats like being scratched along the neck under their chins, but since this is a very vulnerable part of the animal she may not let you scratch her there until you have gained her trust.
One place to generally avoid is the cat’s belly. If a cat rolls over and exposes her belly to you, it is not necessarily an indication that she wants you to pet her there, it usually just means that she’s comfortable and trusts you enough to expose that sensitive and vulnerable spot in front of you. If you respond by reaching out and petting her tummy, she might bite you or she might get up and run away.
Or she might like it. This is definitely one of the general rules that has exceptions. I have know several kittens and cats that really enjoyed having their tummies rubbed. The only way to find out is to try it. But please, if the cat makes it clear that she doesn’t like it, stop doing it!